Tuesday was not, in fact, Super, nor was it Duper

What the hell.

Seriously. Where's my Blue State Revolution? Where's my paradigm shift? Instead all we get is a boring split. Blah blah blah.

Sure, Obama won more states. And the delegate numbers, if you use the Ryerson Theorem instead of the now-debunked Tchaikovsky Equilibratic, are pretty much unchanged. But California, New York, Massachusetts? States that are all about change and weirdness and Che Guevara t-shirts all effectively said the same thing:

Yeah, so the system is broken, there is no real incentive for substantive change, no reason to upset the happy corrupt wastefulness infesting every office and agency in the federal government. Meh. Black men are scary.

This gives the Republicans hope. Especially now with McCain, who they hate, but affords them their only real shot at retaining the White House. So what we have is another prime opportunity for the Donkey Party to screw up once again, by throwing in Hillary, who has no chance with independents and undecided voters, against McCain, who is all about the independents. And you think the conservatives will jump ship and vote for Hillary? I have a feeling many many old white men will be staying home come November.

But hey, you may be right. Maybe Obama is going to suddenly turn around and jack your car, sleep with your virginal blond daughter, and sell the marijuana to your kindergartner. Lord knows it's happened before, right?

UPDATE: And don't think the awful Shaq trade to the Sunds isn't related. The end of one beautiful revolution, the disappointing postponement of another? It is all a piece, the surrendering of glorious outliers to the weight of the normative.