First, before I get to this week's half-assed post, I'm obligated to recognize a Mr. Hamburglar/B&D/Krazy/Tubby Bjornferdsentenstein for suggesting the Bob & Doug MacKenzie beer clip from last week. So there you go, Tubby. And for those of you who decided not to click on the fluffy bunny link, maybe you should check it out. Who knew bunnies had anything to do with witches?
Meanwhile...read this, because the birds and the bees, though their famed interaction may be exciting, don't always live happily ever after.
I had a decent idea to write about this week, about how much I hate Woody Allen. He and Philip Roth are equally responsible for giving Jewish men a bad name, and terrible role models. But then I heard that his new movie has Scarlett Johannsen and Penelope Cruz making out. So for that, Woody, I'll forget about the whole "marrying my adopted daughter" thing.
And I'm not going to write about the campaign, because nothing is happening. Forget the news - and I'm not even going to link to anything, because I don't want to encourage you - and their carping on every little misstep or not-so-surprising center moves by both candidates. August is for vacations and pining for the NFL, and that's it. Obama wants to name a VP? I'm all ears. But until the conventions in a couple of weeks, there's really nothing to talk about.
Oh, then there's that whole Russia-Georgia thing. I wish I could get worked up about Russia's imperialism, but I wouldn't be so sad if Hotlanta went Russky. Imagine the crazy Outkast album!
Beyond that, the only thing that anyone cares about right now is the Olympics, and all those medals by that guy with the gills. Much to the Madre's - and Wife's, for that matter - I'm not watching them. I'm not so down with China, ever since my Gap t-shirt got a hole in the armpit. Come on, you've got like 50 million child laborers - does not a single one know how to sew? You think losing the medal race to the U.S. is embarassing? How about all those crappy Nikes, and their uncomfortable soles? Now that's some national shame.
I could say it's all a joke, that I've been watching the epic gymnastics battle, and those beautiful opening ceremonies, but for some reason I find I've got other things to do. Who knows. Maybe I'm just overreacting, being a snotty liberal and all. I mean, there have been some unforgettable images coming out of China:
I'm sorry. I really tried to keep this light. But you know what? I'm really sick of the Olympics. I'd really just love to sit down and watch some crappy reality TV, but NBC's coverage has just been ridiculous. Just bring back the Office already.