I had a hilarious post already written out. It was going to be about socks that lose their elastic, John Hodgman, and German. You'd have blown milk through your nose, I swear.
Only I had to set it aside, perchance to post it next week. Because this happened.
And if that wasn't bad enough, there was also this bit of "justice."
So as much as I'd like to work up a froth about the Supreme Court getting habeus corpus wrong so they could do right by the Gitmo detainees, right now I'm a little pissed at some of our nation's DA's. We'll do the less aggravating ruling first, Mr. "Pee on you" himself."
If you can't convict this guy, when you have video and direct testimony, you should retire. You have 6 - 6! - years to prepare, and not only can you not convince the victim to testify, but you can't even get her to retract her denial that it was she on the tape. Grab your gold watch, and go tell your grandkids about the pedophile who got away. Kudos.
As for Seattle...you know what? I can understand. I can see how a reasonably intelligent jury can't make up its mind. A man wanted desperately to kill some Jews, in a prominent location where he could do the most damage. He Googled Jews in Washington, and found the Seattle Federation. When he discovered that it was over 200 miles away, he packed some snacks, got directions on MapQuest, and headed out. On the way, to make sure they were in fine working order, he tested his two pistols.
Once he got to the Federation building he kidnapped a 14-year-old girl to gain entrance. As soon as he got in, according to victims' testimony, he started firing. He killed 1 and seriously injured 5. One of his victims, a pregnant woman who saved her fetus by stopping the fired bullet with her arm. Then, overcoming shock and blood loss, she convinced the man to call 911, and he was taken into custody. He plead not guilty by reason of insanity for 15 counts of murder, attempted murder, kidnapping, and related charges.
When asked why they couldn't come to a decision, one of the jurors was shockingly, if unintentionally, spot on. "We didn't understand the legal concept of 'right from wrong.'" Exactly.
So instead of comedy you get tragedy. Sorry about that. At least you got the Chapelle skit thought, right? He's always funny.