Monday, November 12, 2007

One throw, and now the Cannon is the Messiah

You weak people may be ready to forgive and forget, but not me. Rexy throws one bomb, and now it's all "I don't care if you didn't call, I'll still let you do that thing that I thought was uncomfortable but you seem to be fixated upon." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, and...something about a king, maybe? Sayings are for losers.

Bears finally pull one out, although it was against the Raiders, so it's not like it was against a real team. 6-3 with 5 minutes left? This is AMERICAN football, not the other kind, the one with the shin guards. And yes, even though this is a win, I shall be ripping the team. Why? Because I'm a bitter old man with nothing else to do?

Perhaps. But I still wanted to see the Great Orton Neckbeard, so the Cannon can kiss my ass.

Don't you think we're good now either, Cedric. I know it's a little above your average, but a legitimate running back should be able to gain 100 yards on 29 carries. 76 yards? I've mowed more yards than that in a summer!

Zing! I totally got you! Did you see that take down! Oh man, what a great insult! Ha ha! Mowing the lawn is fun!

Oh, and Norman Mailer died. As the author of theThe Naked and the Dead, which suprisingly contains no necrophilia, and Prisoner of Sex, which also isn't about what you think it is, he would have been surprised to hear that it was old age, and not some shrewish, plain-Jane feminists that finally did him in. He didn't hate women, per se. He just didn't want them talking, or writing, or voting.

I once worked for a guy who looked like Norman Mailer. And he had a lot of books...maybe it WAS Norman Mailer! Weird...

Also, I know exactly how long it's been since I last posted. I'll post when I damn well please, and you'll beg for more.


zachary Cohen said...

im sorry im not a "sports guy" or even a real "guy" guy but i do have friends that are and one of them told me that this is funny so i laugh and he is from chicago and he is a die hard bears fan and he does agree with you for the most part. except for the monkeys your lways on their side, and i still say they deserve those damn bananas you sick SOB.

Anonymous said...

Stop looking at me SWAN!