Wednesday, November 28, 2007
I am screwed.
Well, what the hell am I supposed to do now? Fetus is set to burst out of Wife's unsuspecting, innocent uterus like a pumpkin through a buttonhole, and if the Beacon Hill Commies have their way, Fetus will have us all under its control within minutes.
And now I have to return all the tools recommended by the Boston Educational Association for Training and Driving Offspring With Necessary Stimuli. There's no way I'll get a full refund on my taser, and I have no idea which cop I stole that nightstick from. I guess Wife will have to return that EST machine to the hospital.
What? my brass knuckles too? Great. Now we're defenseless. I may as well toss out my baseball bat, while we're at it. What do you mean, that's not what it's for?