Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I am screwed.

Bay State’s going slap-happy

Well, what the hell am I supposed to do now? Fetus is set to burst out of Wife's unsuspecting, innocent uterus like a pumpkin through a buttonhole, and if the Beacon Hill Commies have their way, Fetus will have us all under its control within minutes.

And now I have to return all the tools recommended by the Boston Educational Association for Training and Driving Offspring With Necessary Stimuli. There's no way I'll get a full refund on my taser, and I have no idea which cop I stole that nightstick from. I guess Wife will have to return that EST machine to the hospital.

What? my brass knuckles too? Great. Now we're defenseless. I may as well toss out my baseball bat, while we're at it. What do you mean, that's not what it's for?

Liberal bastards.


Yehuda said...

methinky you are misusing the "label" function on this blog

Pants Wearer said...

How do you figure? I've been using them to catalog past posts, but also for tiny funnies that you can put in your pocket, carry home with you, and then laugh at them when you have an extra 4-5 seconds, perhaps when you are brushing your teeth, or waxing your toe-hair.

Not that your toes are excessively hairy. Although they could be. I don't really know. I haven't made a study of it, or anything, and I certainly haven't begun some sort of multi-year analysis of the issue as the basis of a genetics tell-all. Not even close.

Yehuda said...

don't look at my toes that way! (sob)