Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Facebook This

Dammit. I set up focus groups, I interview John Q. Public (who is NOT an easy man to find), and research scholarly journals, all to determine whether it’s worth starting my own blog. Sure there were naysayers:

“You’re opinions aren’t worth the toilet paper they’re printed on. Why did you waste all our toilet paper?”

“If I come down in favor of your blog, can I have my lunch money back?”

“We appreciate your interest in our firm. Unfortunately at this time we do not have a position that may be adequately served by someone with your skills and experience. We will keep a copy of your resume on file in the event such an opening occurs in the future.”

But no one mentioned that I had completely missed the boat. (Thanks for nothing, MSNBC. You too, Master of 500 Hats. Although +1 for a great blog name.)

Well you know what? I hate boats. And I hate Facebook. So F Facebook, and F you, social networks. You screwed me in high school, and you’re screwing me now. But this time, I’m not taking it lying down, or hiding in my locker, or hanging over a flushing toilet. I’ve got word power now, suckas. And if the pen is mightier than the sword, than a keyboard is, like, better than a gun, or something. So step off, punks. Flights of Fancy Pants is here to stay.


sam said...

Am I sensing some bitterness???

Zach said...

Originally I would agree with you but now speaking from a Facebook-aholic perspective I am just down right offended

Pants Wearer said...

As well you should be. That was the intent. And hell's yeah I'm bitter. Behind the curve again! Damn you tastemakers!