"Sure, we know what you have to say, but what are other people saying about stuff?"

I ramble. It's genetic. So instead of another post all about me and what I think (although it is my blog, so if you're reading, it's your own fault for being interested in the weird things in my head), here are some things that other people think about things I'm interested in:

And no, I'm not going back to make that paragraph more comprehensible. Go diagram a sentence, and parse it out. First one to finish gets a second apple at snacktime.

After having very specific and one-sided opinions about the respective conventions, I wanted some hard numbers to feel good about myself and my politics. Thanks, Slate! Now I know for sure that Republicans don't care about the issues affecting real Americans!

For those who don't know, Michael Ian Black is funny. Even his permanent slot on the "I Love the ___'s" VH1 shows give me chuckles. So I RSS'd his blog so I could read his funniness, and I enjoyed it. His commenters are slobbering fans, and that's why I'm nixing it off the required reading, but if he is even talking about Sarah Palin, you know it's important. Or at least possibly hilarious.

Did you want to know if Sarah Palin hates Jews? Me too. Turns out she does. Hooray!

I know it's late, but FreeDarko - usually devoted to liberated fandom and the glory that is professional basketball - took some time off this offseason and wrote some posts about the respective conventions. Check this out about the RNC.
Sorry about the italics. I'm not emphasizing to the exclusion of other links, although I do love my NBA talk mixed with a fine philosophical paste. So maybe I am pushing this one harder. You will love FreeDarko! You will obey my dog!

Some of you may know Michael Ian Black from his work in Wet Hot American Summer. Others may know him from "The State" or "Stella" . And some of you may know him from "I Love the New Millennium"or some other crappy VH1 nonsense. Either way, he's also a blogger, just like me, this lady, and the fifteen homeless guys I pass on my way to "work."

His commenters are pathetic, his posts hilarious, and recently he's gotten political.

Finally, the story that has been circulating the internets for a few days now, and has made its way to me via several different conduits. The New York Post has the story, as does Jewlicious.

Basically, a professor from the Fancy Pants alma mater has gone from he to she. Surgically.

Some of you may know that the FPAM - hell, what's the difference: Yeshiva University - is a tad...religious. Or at least they like to frame their marketing materials that way. Thus there is something of a brouhaha over the matter, although there are currently two Fancy Pants siblings at the school, and there have been no rioting reports as of 7:30 pm EST.

I think this is fantastic. Aside from the discomfort foisted upon the rabbis, there is the exposure of a true alternative lifestyle to a bunch of sheltered kids who think being a transvestite is just something people do on Purim.

So glory be to you, Professor Ladin. Enjoy womanhood and the opportunity to fondle your own boobs whenever you want. I have no idea what the Jewish legal issues may be, but I bet they're a lot fuzzier than Rabbi Tendler wants them to be.

Some links, you know, for the kids

Here is the Balloon Brother, amazing David Letterman and Biff like sugar-crazed toddlers:



Back in the day I had to wait breathlessly by the radio for the prefect songs to come up, then mix them with my meager tape collection to explain to any number of special ladies how I felt, being too lazy to come up with an original thought. Now, just go to Muxtape, and you can post your mixtapes for all to see, including the girl who sits behind you in French, and who odds are will not actually enjoy Conor Oberst's whining. My recommendation? ABC, "Aisha."

In yet another sad political twist, Obama and Liberal Blogs File for Divorce, all because he went on Fox News. All I want to know is who is going to buy my love with a Playstation 3 and universal healthcare.

Freedarko is being annoying, but it doesn't matter. If you don't love your basketball lightly salted with Kierkegaard and Ghostface Killah, then I don't know what to say to you.

Yeah, it's a short post, but it's really all in the name of getting Brother Balloon some extra hits. Check out his website, The Twisted Balloon Company, and be amazed.

Dropping a link deuce

Blossom is a PHD candidate?? Maybe I should lay off the LSD. But then how would I get to see Blue-eared Pete, the skunk who tells me which celebrities are gay?

I was going to make a joke about Six trading BJs for crack rock, but then I went to her IMDB page and it turns out she’ll be in Dr. Doolittle 3. Which is a crueler fate? How about if I add that she’s also a country music star? And believes she had to change her name because her guardian angel told her so?

Let’s start taking up a collection to buy her some kneepads.

Rudy vs. Mitt: Who Hates Porn More? – You can’t make up a better lede. I don’t want to spoil the end, but I will say the only disappointing thing about the article is that neither candidate mentions masturbation, or the hairy palms and blindness it causes. But I do want to hear more about Peggy Noonan’s “ocean of filth,” and whether they’re selling any property on the coast. Only because I love the beach. It has nothing to do with the perversion, or the porn. Honestly.

Vegans vs. Vegetarians - Really, this is just like asking who’s better, Hitler or Stalin? The only loser in this conversation? Planet Earth. Because if you start respecting cows now, their inevitable takeover will be…inevitable. Also, I don’t know what lacto-ovo means, but it’s got to have something to do with sex, right? Right?

Free Rice – do you want to “earn” rice that will go to starving peoples at a rate of 10 grains per correct vocabulary question? If you’re like me, and one of your alltime top five accomplishments was completing, before anyone else, the 15^th grade vocabulary book in 8^th grade, then you’re a big, big nerd, and this game is for you.

I’m really sorry for the double-Heeb injection, not because I’m embarrassed to have visited the site, but because it so blatantly reveals my laziness. Either way, Jonah Hill should maybe spend less time with Seth Rogen. Can you tell me which one it is in this picture? Definitively? No, you cannot. If we find “Jonah Hill’s” body in a ditch sometime in the next year, I demand that “Seth Rogen’s” DNA get tested. We are heading for a real stalker situation here, and I don’t want to have to say I told you so in 8-12 months, when E! has footage of Jonah being led out of Rogen’s house, screaming “I AM Seth Rogen! Look at me! I’m Canadian, eh! There is no Jonah Hill! Seth! SETH ROGEN, DAMMIT!”

Link Dump

Good lord, I'm lazy. Here are some fantastic things that have happened on the internets:

Rudy Giuliani's Secret Debate Weapon - turns out, it's that he's a liar. I'm sure that comes as a shock to the two wives he cheated on.

Madonna leaves Warner after 24 years - $120 million? Anyone who's listened to her albums recently raise your hands. Not so fast, Imaginary Drag Queen.

Congress drafts resolution honoring Brett Favre - eh. It's not for Redneck of the Year, so I'm not really interested.

Ann Coulter - "We want Jews to be perfected" - wow, thank you Ann. And I was worried I wouldn't hear something whacked-out insane from you this month.

Radiohead is putting their fancy boot up the record industry's ass. Join them.