Monday, March 16, 2009

A question, then 64 answers

What do you do if you find something that's so absurd, so ridiculously hilarious, you feel bad sharing it with others?

Wife was looking for a phone number. Forgetting it was in her phone, she went to the internets and looked up the individual in question. What she found was...epic. A glorious monument to the possibilities of chaos and the World Wide Web. It was in every way more fantastical than she or I or you could have imagined.

I don't mean to suggest that this individual had some sort of Flash-infused ultra-narrow bleeding-edge of the envelope home page. In fact the truth is just about the complete diametric opposite. What we found was this person's soul, writ carefully and purposefully on a web page.

This person - we'll call the individual T-Bone, because it's gender-neutral and silly - was specific in their interests, passions, and character traits and flaws. And this is no Blogger account, nor was there any sort of innovative or even substandard derivative design. If I had to compare it to anything, it would be Creed's blog, but without the serial killer vibe. Wait, scratch that - with all sorts of serial killer vibe emanating from the screen.

On T-Bone's proto-blog there are links to favorite quotes, which in itself is not unusual...but the three or four paragraphs on why T-Bone thinks archiving quotes as a concept are interesting, and why sharing them is helpful for the reader's edification is pretty out there, as a form of entertainment. Or how about the autobiography, which literally begins with a birthday, and a physical description. And goes on for about 5 or 6 pages?

This is how the Genesis conversation happened in my head:

T-Bone: what's a blog?
T-Bone's head: a blog is a place on the internet that's all yours. Do with it as you wish.
T-Bone: Well, like, what should I put on there?
T-Bone's head: Got me. Why not tell the universe a little about yourself, and talk about some of the things you like?
T-Bone: OK. I like my family, and I think the environment is important. Should I put that on there?
T-Bone's head: Sure. There are lots of people who feel the same way you do, they'll be interested to read what you have to say on these pressing and culturally relevant topics.
T-Bone: Great! I also enjoy role playing games and fantasy novels and writing fan fiction about Transformers, which I still collect. Are there other adults with spouses and children who collect Transformers, who might want to read my stories?
T-Bone's head: Well you know I love everything Transformers. Throw 'em on! You'll get zillions of hits in no time! Oh, and the more detail the better!

I wish I could share T-Bone's thoughts with you. I really do. But it would be mean. Meaner even than the previous paragraphs, where I shared just a few little bits with you. Sorry.

Also, you'll be interested to know that I shall share my NCAA tournament picks with you on Wednesday night. The simple act of reading them will fill you with wonder at my prophseying skill, and you shall marvel at my insight into futures untold.

"Oh my Lord, is that Davidson's music?" Proof positive that as of Monday night, I have no idea who's even in the Madness this year. How about Brandeis, are they a 12 or 13 seed? McGill? They a 7 seed?

1 comment:

T said...

Spoiler alert on the picks: Pitt all the way because otherwise your wife will beat you again
Oh and way to rip off Simmons ripping off the WWF